I Am Intimidated by My Bookshelf

I had a glimpse of my bookshelf just now when I opened its doors to put something in, and for the first time, I felt scared. Intimidated. Throughout these seven years I have been buying and hoarding books. Many of those who love to read would be able to empathize with my obsession with books, but the lack of space in the place where I live has thrown my bookaholic tendencies into the spotlight.

This year I have been consciously trying to reduce the clutter in my living space. I know that I will not be able to do it overnight, so I am taking it one step at a time, literally. I target one section by one section, I control my impulse to buy, and I make an effort to use things up. One of my bad habits including buying two different shower gels, two different toners, two or three different hand creams; you get the picture. Nowadays I stop myself from buying until I have used up all that I have been stocking up all these years.

But the one thing that I have problem stopping myself from buying is … books.

Now I have this one bookshelf full of books. Don’t get me wrong, I love those books. I love every single one of them, but I do not have the luxury of time to read a lot every day, so I ended up buying more before I finished reading those I already own. Just now I felt intimidated because I wondered if I will ever be able to finish all of them. I created this reading challenge for this year, but I am far from any signs of being able to accomplish it. What will happen when there is simply no more space in the bookshelf? Will I be able to contain my urge to buy more books? Will I be miserable for not being able to buy because I don’t know where to put them? Will I have piles of books lying everywhere and feel helpless because I am trying to declutter but here are all these books?

My never ending battle with my obsession with books… to be continued.


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